Why Do I Need Help to Overcome an Addiction?

I have counseled many people struggling to overcome an addiction and a common question is:

Why do I need help to overcome a substance or an event addiction?

We all have our own shortcomings and weaknesses where we have varying degrees of blindness. We need others to turn our eyes to things unseen and bring us to a clearer perspective. You don’t know how much you don’t know until someone teaches you. This is especially true in addiction where denial, minimization, justification, rationalization, blame, self delusion and a victim mentality are characteristics of addictive thinking.

The very nature of addiction forms a bond with a substance or event that you “falsely perceive” meets your needs. (Examples of event addictions include things such as gambling and sex.) You go to the unhealthy relationship with the substance or event which replaces healthy bonds in human relationships. You protect your addiction system by not letting anyone to close so they cannot expose what they may see. Emotional isolation is embraced as we retreat into our addiction. This does not mean that you do not have “party” friends, but they lack emotional closeness and likely revolve around your preferred method of participating in addiction.

Humility is not always a popular word, yet you need humility to grow and change. It is by being teachable that you seek assistance so that you can reshape your thinking and life skills and find solutions that bring you success and a healthier self image, relationships, and the potential to live life to the fullest.

You need other people to be accountable to and receive support from so that you can succeed in understanding and overcoming this addictive system. To believe you can do it all on your own is a protection device to remain in your patterns. The addictive thinking that is part of this system entraps you and alone you cannot escape it. Professional counselors, programs, and support groups are designed to help you learn and break free of the pattern. It is in forming these relationships that the isolation is broken and you can begin to develop meaningful relationships that can replace the unhealthy and addictive relationship with the substance or event.

Dr. Michele    

Copyright © 2013 by Michele Fleming, Ph.D.