What Does God Say About Abuse?

When you say abuse the vast majority of people focus on physical abuse; someone who has been battered, bruised, choked, or pushed around. Whether you are speaking of physical, sexual, verbal, emotional, or spiritual abuse, it is all violence against your body, soul, and spirit. The Bible warns us of the works of the flesh and the pain and destruction that they will bring. Why are we surprised that we face such behaviors when the Bible warns us?

“People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy, without love, unforgiving, slanderous, without self-control, brutal, not lovers of the good, treacherous, rash, conceited, lovers of pleasure rather than lovers of God— having a form of godliness but denying its power. Have nothing to do with them.” (2 Timothy 3:2-5)

“Have nothing to do with them,” as light and darkness can have no fellowship. If someone will not repent and learn healthy behaviors this is the category the Bible places them in. What God’s Word says about each type of abuse and the characteristics would fill several books. All the types of abuse include spoken words that harm the person. The Bible says,

“Death and life are in the power of the tongue!” (Proverbs 18:21)

“If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.” (James 1:26-27)

Do you speak life or death, blessings or cursing over the people in your life? What are the messages you receive, and what are the messages that you send through your communication? God wants what flows from your mouth to be pure. Jesus said, “For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks.” (Matthew 12:34)

The gift of communication is to praise and glorify God, to speak life, love, comfort, encouragement, and meet the needs of those around us. When you are abusive, or tolerate abuse without setting boundaries and giving consequences, you grieve the Spirit of God.

“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

(Ephesians 4:29-32)

The culture has epidemic levels of abuse in all facets of society. Abuse is operating within the walls of your cities, jobs, schools, and homes. There is as much abuse in churches amongst Christians, as there is in the world system. This should not be, as you are to reflect Christ. Abuse is diametrically opposed to God’s character. God considers abuse wickedness that produces destruction.

“Confuse the wicked, O Lord, confound their speech, for I see violence and strife in the city. Day and night they prowl about on its walls; malice and abuse are within it. Destructive forces are at work in the city; threats and lies never leave its streets. If an enemy were insulting me, I could endure it; if a foe were raising himself against me, I could hide from him. But it is you, a man like myself, my companion, my close friend, with whom I once enjoyed sweet fellowship as we walked with the throng at the house of God.” (Psalm 55:9-14)

How grievous it is to receive abuse at the hands of the people who are closest to you, those you fellowship with, and those in authority that you look up to in leadership. Those who have covenant relationship with you are commanded by God to behave according to His precepts.

“Husbands, love your wives, and never treat them harshly.” (Colossians 3: 19)

It is not God’s will for you to be crushed in spirit and abused. You need understanding and information to move forward and make choices to be free of this bondage. You can be empowered with information and all who choose to repent and receive truth within the abuse system can be healed and restored. But it requires knowledge – gaining the facts, understanding – arranging the facts, and wisdom – the application of the facts, to choose to deal appropriately with abuse. God says,

“My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.” (Hosea 4:6)

You need tools and skills to restore healthy thinking and life skills after experiencing abuse so that you can fulfill all that God has for you. God understands the pain to your soul from these experiences and He wishes to comfort you, bring healing, and restoration.

“…He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners,” (Isaiah 61:1)

This is the condition of anyone who has experienced abuse. Your heart is broken, and you feel captive in confusion and pain. Jesus came to set you free, remove darkness, and restore your soul.

“You will save the humble people; but Your eyes are on the haughty, that You may bring them down.” (2 Samuel 22:28)

“He delivers me from my enemies. You also lift me up above those who rise against me; You have delivered me from the violent man.” (Psalms 18:48)

 “For he has not despised or disdained the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help.” (Psalm 22:24)

“He will rescue them from oppression and violence, for precious is their blood in his sight.” (Psalm 72:14)

If you suspect that you are being abused, seek trained help, and know that God is on your side. You are not to sit by and do nothing. God is a God of forgiveness and grace, but He is also a God of boundaries and consequences. With the proper steps it is possible for all people to choose repentance and healing. Those who embrace truth will be healed and restored. Make the choice to face abuse and be an overcomer today.

Dr. Michele

Copyright © 2013 Michele Fleming, Ph.D.