Do You Think Like a Victim or an Overcomer?

We all experience events in our lives where we are the victim. Things happen to us that are beyond our control. You can be stopped at a stoplight, obeying all traffic laws, and still be the victim of an accident because of someone else’s choices. There are many other things that we have no control over where we may be victims in a situation.

When something happens and you are a victim, it is important to acknowledge it. Don’t gloss it over. It’s ok to admit something bad happened and you couldn’t have stopped it; however, you cannot stay stuck there. It’s important to shift your focus. You were a victim, but you are called to be overcomers. To overcome we must be able to think and act like overcomers, not victims. You have to choose to move forward and heal. Thinking of the example above, if you were in an accident, you would make the choice to get medical treatment. You must treat your soul (your mind, will and emotions) with the same care that you would your physical body.

Remaining a victim or being an overcomer is all about choices. A victim makes choices that leaves him stuck, and he embraces a “poor me” mentality. An overcomer is proactive and makes choices that make his life better. How do you know if you’re living as a victim or an overcomer? Below you can compare thoughts and actions that make the difference between a victim and an overcomer.

 Characteristics of a Victim:

1. What don’t I have?
2. Waits for things to happen
3. Why can’t I attain my goals?
4. Focuses on the faults and negative
5. Finds excuses
6. Blames others and situations
7. Knows everything
8. Sees losses ahead
9. Talks more
10. Creates obstacles for himself/herself
11. Repeats mistakes
12. Holds a grudge
13. Impatient and burns out quickly

Characteristics of an Overcomer

1. What do I have to use or choose?
2. I can make things happen.
3. How can I attain my goals?
4. Focuses on the positive
5. Finds a way
6. Acknowledges responsibility
7. Takes correction and guidance
8. Sees success ahead
9. Listens more
10. Creates goals for himself/herself
11. Learns from mistakes
12. Forgives
13. Enduring and patient, a long distance runner in life

We have choices. With God on our side, we can overcome any obstacle. Getting stuck in the “poor pitiful me” thought process of a victim, paralyzes us from making choices to be proactive and change our circumstances. Our challenge is to move through our problems rather than remaining stuck, feeling victimized by them.

“No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:37-9:1 (NIV)

This relates to the victim mentality. If someone or something is negatively affecting our lives, our challenge is not to stop or change them, but to change our responses so that we are not adversely affected. If we feel stuck or require the situation or person to change for us to be happy, we have given away our personal power.

We need to look at the situations in our lives and identify where we operate these patterns. We need to listen to what we are saying to ourselves: Are we blaming people or the situation? Are we accepting responsibility for our own actions? Are we giving someone or something the power by blaming them? Is life unfair to us? Do we validate our feelings? Do we decide not to be controlled by fear and self-protection?

Today you have a choice, victim or overcomer. Which will you choose?

Dr. Michele

Copyright © 2014 by Michele Fleming, Ph.D.