What Path Will You Choose? Abuse And Rejection In The Christian Church Part Three

I recently was faced with not compromising versus pleasing people, and it ended up being a rejection experience that came from a fellow leader. While I was seeking God about the situation, He spoke Psalm 55 to me and it hit me in my heart with its accuracy. This section was specific in speaking to the experience and pain through this type of rejection.

 “…For I have seen violence and strife in the city. Day and night they go around it on its walls; Iniquity and trouble are also in the midst of it. Destruction is in its midst; Oppression and deceit do not depart from its streets. For it is not an enemy who reproaches me; then I could bear it. Nor is it one who hates me who has exalted himself against me; Then I could hide from him. But it was you, a man my equal, My companion and my acquaintance. We took sweet counsel together, and walked to the house of God in the throng.” Psalm 55:9-14 NKJV

The greatest rejections we experience are from those who are inside our city walls. In other words, those who are in our world, in our families, our churches, and those who walk side by side with us on the streets of our daily lives. Betrayal, slander, and rejection from them brings deceit, destruction, and oppression to the place where we dwell causing us to feel unsafe if we focus on the offense rather than the one who protects us.

We can brush off rejection from those who we don’t like. It is easier when it comes from an enemy, but when it is a companion and especially one that we walk with in fellowship in the house of the Lord it produces the ultimate in painful experiences. Do not think God does not take it seriously. Every seed we plant will produce a crop in our lives if we do not identify and repent. Through it all we can overcome and rejoice in God.

 “Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.” Matthew 5:12 NKJV

Most of us do not feel like throwing a party when we experience any form of rejection. We usual feel like lashing out or curling up in a ball and crying. Too many of us allow the experience to define who we are, twist what we believe, and alter our life and relationship skills. We do not have to allow rejection to cause permanent damage to us. God’s people will suffer in His kingdom. The Bible tells us that we are assured that we are truly one of God’s own through these experiences. So then what are we told to do in response? We are told to count ourselves as blessed and rejoice.

When we experience rejection from all sources, let’s not be surprised and don’t allow it to define our core beliefs, actions, or expectations. It cannot cause us to stumble unless we receive the rejection. If we know God, His Word, and character, not even a leader can cause us to fall when we experience rejection. We have tools to identify whether this is God voice, character, methods, and Truth speaking through them. Does it agree with the Bible, is this condemnation or conviction, is this controlling, manipulative and shaming, does this define my identity rather than my behavior? If what is said stands against God we are to discern and reject the words.

We have so many examples of men and women who did not allow rejection to change their callings and purposes regardless of what others thought. In every case the affliction experienced always produced an increase. The prophets were rejected and the increase they produced by their words formed God’s Word the Bible, because of this we have a clear picture and know God. The apostles and disciples faced all kinds of opposition, but their affliction produced the spreading of the gospel and the growth of God’s kingdom. Jesus’ rejection and persecution produced an increase. We are the increase, the blood bought children and a family for God.

Righteous believers since the beginning of time have experienced rejection. Jesus, those who foretold of Him, and those stood beside Him all remained steadfast in what the Father had purposed for them to accomplish. There is a lesson on how to overcome rejection in their examples. When we face pain, persecution, adversity and rejection we can hold firmly to God and His truth. Identify the messages and hold firmly to godly core beliefs that will produce fruit. We can embrace tools to apply so that we can move through rejection and come out the other side stronger.

We cannot allow messages of rejection from the church to mold us. We must learn never to allow these experiences to define who we are or allow them to alter our perspective, thinking patterns, core beliefs and our life choices. Our path will have obstacles in it, but the choice is ours whether we veer off God’s plans and purposes for us, or learn to maneuver through them to the other side.

Dr. Michele

Copyright © 2014 by Dr. Michele Fleming, Ph.D.