Healing By Focusing On God’s Character, Identity, And Intentions: Abuse And Rejection From The Church Part Five

So how do we overcome rejection, or any obstacle, without being corrupted in our hope, faith, expectations, core beliefs, or behaviors? The keys to overcoming any obstacle in our lives are found in the Bible, God’s life manual, and the provisions and tools that it teaches us. The Bible clearly teaches that what we think will direct and influence every area of our lives. Your focus will define your thinking. It is all about where you choose to focus.

 The question we must ask ourselves is, if we are to overcome, where do we place our focus, attention, thoughts, and core beliefs? These will produce the fruit of our lives, which is our actions.

There are five keys we must focus on when healing from abuse and rejection. In this blog, I’ll discuss the first two:

1.  Focus on God’s character and identity
2. Focus on God’s intentions

 God’s Character and Identity

Who is God? Do you really see Him in His true identity, or do you have a twisted perspective of Him because of the rejection you have experienced? He wants us perfected into His image, and He sees down the road to the outcome of our experiences, if we allow Him to mold us. Sometimes we cannot understand why He allows us to go through pain, but it is often through the affliction that our real growth and depth are molded. We must trust His ways.

The Bible clearly shows His character as represented in His many names. His ways are far above our ways, and He is perfect. He has a pure heart and pure motives toward us. He is our loving Father, our Shepherd, protector, and provider. He is holy and faithful. He cannot lie. and He is the same yesterday today and forever. He does not prefer one person over another. He is not a punishing God who is waiting to zap us when we fail. He is quick to forgive when we repent. He loves and accepts us unconditionally, and we can come to Him just as we are in our present state.

“For the Lord will not reject his people; he will never forsake HIS INHERITANCE.” Psalm 94:14 NIV (Emphasis added)

“He existed before anything else, and HE HOLDS ALL CREATION TOGETHER.” Colossians 1:17 NLT (Emphasis added)

“Jesus said, “My KINGDOM IS NOT OF THIS WORLD. If it were, my servants would fight to prevent my arrest by the Jews. But now my kingdom is from another place.” John 18:36 NIV (Emphasis added)

“…My GRACE IS SUFFICENT for you, for MY STRENGTH is made perfect in weakness.” 2 Corinthians 12:9 NKJV (Emphasis added)

The righteous cry out, and the LORD HEARS THEM; HE DELIVERS them from all their troubles. The LORD IS CLOSE TO THE BROKENHEARTED AND SAVES those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:17-18 (Emphasis added)

We are His children, His family that He desires to teach and train us in godliness so we can rule with Him in eternity. He is all knowing, all powerful and is never surprised by us, or our circumstances. He is a safe place to put our focus; this is a God we can place our thoughts and hopes on.

­God’s Intentions Towards You

The second key is to know and focus on God’s intentions towards you. When we experience rejection, especially from other Christians, it’s easy to assume that God has negative thoughts towards us as well. What are God’s intentions toward us? Do we think of ourselves as pawns in a game of chess? We would be pawns of the evil one if God hadn’t cared enough to place Himself in the body of Jesus Christ and die for our deliverance, salvation, righteousness, strength and provision. This is a God who we can trust. His intentions are for us and not against us. He would have went through an awful lot of suffering that He did not have to endure if His intentions were less than perfect toward us. He died while we were still sinners. So, now that we are righteous through Him how much more is He for us?

Perfect intentions elicit trust from us. His intentions are to be everything that we need. He provided it all: a way to the Father, righteousness that we don’t earn, grace, forgiveness, mercy, strength, provision, protection, and deliverance from all things that oppose us, acceptance, and blessing. He designed a foolproof plan for us. He provided angels, His messengers that He sends for our protection, to aid us and accomplish His will in our lives.

We often feel like our world is spinning out of control. We have nothing tangible to place our hands upon. God cannot be seen with our eyes, but He is real and tangible and a strong tower to lean on in the storms of life. We may often have no control of situations, circumstances, and other people. Sometimes it is just hard enough to have control of our own thoughts, core beliefs, and behaviors. God is never surprised He knows the beginning and the end and has good intentions toward us so we can place our trust in Him to be in control.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord , “PLANS TO PROSPER YOU AND NOT TO HARM YOU, PLANS TO GIVE YOU HOPE AND A FUTURE.” Jeremiah 29:11 NIV (Emphasis added)

“I sought the Lord, and HE ANSWERED ME; he DELIVERED ME from all my fears.” “This poor man called, and the LORD HEARD HIM; HE SAVED HIM OUT OF ALL HIS TROUBLES. The ANGEL OF THE LORD ENCAMPS around those who fear him, and he delivers them…The EYES OF THE LORD ARE ON THE RIGHTEOUS and his EARS ARE ATTENTIVE TO THEIR CRY;” Psalm 34:4, 6-7, 15 (Emphasis added)

Relinquishing our control to Him is truly allowing Him to be the Lord of our lives. We may face fear, or discouragement but we need to remember His intentions and release our hands from the steering wheel and allow Him to be in control. Even through our negative experiences, we must try to turn our focus. We must believe that we will come out victoriously on the other side.

Dr. Michele

Copyright © 2014 by Dr. Michele Fleming, Ph.D.