How Are Your Emotions Created by Your Thinking?

Do you ever feel like your emotions are taking you on a roller coaster ride? Emotions are affected by your thinking. So, I have a question for you. Do your emotions control you, or do you control your emotions?

Several years ago I taught a class about how thinking affects what you feel, speak, and choose. After the class everyone broke up into small groups to discuss more deeply. In that class we realized an interesting trend. An overwhelming majority of people had no idea what they were thinking the most of the time. They all realized not knowing what they were thinking robbed them of the power to take control of their emotions, what came out of their mouths, and the life and relationship choices that they made.

Here are is one person’s example: “I feel depressed. I just want to crawl into bed because I am paralyzed by making choices.” He realized the thought shaping his emotions was “I can never do anything right.” That one underlying thought was shaped through years of experiences that left him believing he was a failure. If we believe we can never do anything right, is it any surprise that we will not want to make decision? If we believe the lie that we can never do anything right, we will feel trapped in a never ending cycle of failure. Depression and the avoidance of wanting to run away is a byproduct of this type of thinking pattern. The thoughts we yield to will direct our emotions.

Have you ever gotten angry at your computer because it wasn’t doing what you wanted to do? Then you realized it was doing what it was supposed to because its default drive is programmed to repeat the performance over and over again? I have to admit I am one of those verbal people who talks, and may even raise my voice, showing my displeasure to my monitor. I have finally learned that it gets me nowhere fast. Instead I need to evaluate the problem, and figure out what is driving the performance. Is it the default drive or a setting? Whatever it is will not change until I do something to change it.

This is true with computers but it is also true with us as human beings. Do you realize your brain has a default drive? What you truly believe drives all of your daily life skills, relational, and behavioral choices. So what do you really believe in your knee jerk reactions of life? We will repeat the same behaviors, life skills and relationship patterns until we change the setting in our mind, thought patterns, and core beliefs. We have a default drive that was written by our life experiences.

When we become a Christian, the programming in our brain does not become overwritten instantly. We have to focus and address one setting at a time to change what we think, and then adjust what we believe to agree with God’s Word. This is what the Bible calls a process of sanctification. That means “being set apart.” We will either reflect the world because we listen to messages we were taught through our experiences, or we will be transformed by changing our mind little by little every day as we make choices to agree with God and not what the world has taught us. This is what 2 Corinthians 10:4-5 is talking about:

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ” (NKJV)

If we tear down the negative messages that we have received from life experiences, our thinking will change. We will no longer believe the lies and instead tell ourselves that we may have made some poor choices, but we reject the lie that we can never do anything right. We need to tell ourselves, “I have the potential to learn, grow, and succeed.” When we change our thinking, we then change the emotions that are reacting to our thinking. We can have hope, accept ourselves as imperfect people who have great potential, and look forward making choices to grow so we have a better future. It all begins in our thinking. So if we want to control our emotions and not allow them to control us, we must examine what we are thinking and what we believe. God wants us to have quality relationships, our needs meet, hope, peace and joy. Until we reprogram our thought patterns and core beliefs, these things will evade us, even Christians. We end up stuck in patterns, choices, and reactions that rob us of the blessings that God has for us. Let’s learn the “how to” identify and readjust our thinking so we can receive all that God has for us.

It starts with the choice to answer one question: What are you thinking?

Dr. Michele

Copyright © 2014 by Michele Fleming Ph.D.